Rob Abrazado (flatvurm) wrote,
Rob Abrazado

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Harder than I thought

When I first decided to return to Blogland, I figured I'd post at least every a week or so. We're a couple weeks into the new year and I haven't kept that schedule. I think a lot of it is because my natural inclination is to sit down and write a long-ass post that covers a lot of stuff, but who has time for those kinds of shenanigans anymore.

Not I, said the fly. Not me, said the flea.

In any case...this is not going to be one of those long-ass posts.

I figured one possible solution to the No Time For Long-Ass Posts problem would be to write shorter, more frequent posts dealing with less stuff. We'll see if I get around to that. Tonight, though, I'm just writing because I haz a sad, and because I want to see how this "shorter posts" technique might work. So far...I am not keeping this very short. :P

Anyway. I'm largely out of words. If you really want the background on why I'm a kind of in the dumps, read this Facebook post, but suffice it to say that I'm feeling the weight of mortality more than usual tonight. Here's a thought process I just went through.

You can't save everybody.
Actually, you can save hardly anybody.
No one. You can actually save no one.
Death cannot be defeated. Death can only be postponed.

And from there, the idea went on to the idea of death being postponed really only applied at scales shorter than a lifetime. Any larger scale than that, and relatively speaking, death can't really be postponed at all. So one starts to wonder at the point of it all...

And that's about the time that I had to consciously put a stop to that line of thinking, which is part of my new Very Healthy And Therapeutic Thank You approach to coping with anxiety and depression, which is basically not to dwell on these kinds of ideas. So instead, I'll write this blog post, redirect the train of thought out into the Ether, the Void, and maybe out of my head.

We'll see how that works out.
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