Rob Abrazado (flatvurm) wrote,
Rob Abrazado

I don't handle failure well

So I decided to cook some banana bread today. Sadly, it kinda fell apart coming out of the loaf pan. Like...I was shaking the loaf pan upside down to get the bread out, and the bottom of the loaf stuck to the bottom of the pan, and the rest of the loaf broke off. And, yeah, I greased the pan beforehand, as attested to by the ease with which the bottom portion was removed. I dunno...I guess the bread as a whole just didn't have enough cohesion or whatever. I may not have let it cool long enough. I also may not have cooked it correctly...I think I went a little low on the temperature and long on time; I've had difficulties with this recipe in the past because it's for a different size loaf pan...

Dude, whatever. :) The point being I fucked up my banana bread today. I mean, it's still's just not loaf-shaped. I ate a good portion of it for lunch, frankly, and it's still fine. It's just...such a disappointment when things I try my hand at don't turn out well. And it's not like I'm a stranger to making banana bread. It's just, for whatever reason, it kinda went awry today.

Anyway. So I was kinda bummed about that. Today's realization and potential for growth is that I really take stuff like this too hard. I mean, of all the problems that I or anyone else could have, this has got to be so fucking far down the list of things that are worth worrying about. Like, really? Banana bread problems? I don't know what it is, but I take these little failures to heart. I just take them personally. Kinda like..."Like, what the hell, man? Can't I have even this?" But that's backward thinking. If the worst thing that happens to me today is that my banana bread falls apart, then, shit, I must have it pretty damn good, you know?

When I woke up this morning, I basically saw enough into my immediate future that I knew I wasn't going to get a lot done today. Granted, this is not exactly a giant leap from how I spend most of my days for the time being, but I could just feel it in the air that this day was going to be a wash for me. Probably the rain. Cold, rainy days...I guess I just want to curl up with some hot carbs. In any case...I'm fighting the urge to spend the whole day sucked into the boob tube, but the fact that my only weapon in this fight is spending time making my Internet rounds... I dunno, man. I may not yet be quite the go-getter I'm shooting for.

So anyway. Hope you guys are doing well, and don't sweat the small stuff. Crumbled banana bread is still banana bread, know what I'm sayin'? It'll be fine.

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.