"Knowing yourself is life's eternal homework." - Felicia Day, You're Never Weird on the Internet (Almost)
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"The essence of life is statistical improbability on a colossal scale." - Richard Dawkins, The Blind Watchmaker
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"And here's what life comes down to -- not how many years you live, but how many of those years are filled with bullshit that doesn't amount to anything to satisfy the requirements of some dickhead you'll never get the pleasure of punching in the face." - Adam Carolla, In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks
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"Anyway, that's what life is, just one learning experience after another, and when you're through with all the learning experiences you graduate and what you get for a diploma is, you die." - Frederik Pohl, Gateway
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"I was told that the eternal verities --"
"Like what?" God laughed. "If there were any, I should know! I have created a universe based on change, and a very small being speaks to me of eternal verities!"
"I didn't mean to offend. It's just, if there are no verities, how do we know what's true?"
"You don't offend. I don't create things that are offensive to me. As for truth, what's true is what's written. Every created thing bears my intention written in it. Rocks. Stars. Very small beings. Everything only runs one way naturally, the way I meant it to. The trouble is that very small beings write books that contradict the rocks, then say I wrote the books and the rocks are lies." He laughed. The universe trembled. "They invent rules of behavior that even angels can't obey, and they say I thought them up. Pride of authorship." He chuckled. "They say, 'Oh, these words are eternal, so God must have written them.'"