Rob Abrazado (flatvurm) wrote,
Rob Abrazado
flatvurm

A story from my day

I haven't been online a lot lately, so ever since I got back from work today, I've been spending this evening catching up on a lot of my Web reading, since...you know...that shit just keeps on coming, and if you don't stay on top of it, you'll just never catch up. Eventually I got hungry, so I heated up my traditional bowl of gruel for dinner and kept on going. So here I am, going through some webcomics and spooning gruel into my mouth, and then I read this guest strip for Dinosaur Comics, and I chuckled a bit. I mean...it's okay, you know? But vomit always adds a little extra something.

Anyway, so I'm chuckling, but my mouth is full, so I'm keeping my mouth shut tight because I don't want to end up emptying a mouthful of gruel out into my bowl. Right when I'm thinking that thought, I focus on that comic strip again, and suddenly I find the adjacency of those two ideas to be hilarious. So I'm ramping up from a light chuckle to a full-on guffaw. However, this all took place too quickly for me to swallow, so my mouth is still full. Now I'm actually clamping my jaw down and sealing my lips tight so that I don't spray food everywhere, laughing even harder at myself because of how ridiculous this has all become, and starting to wonder if I'm in danger of choking. Then, as the paroxysms of laughter are reaching their peak, the air that would normally be escaping through my mouth is instead racing out through my nose, and at that final, fateful point, a booger suddenly shoots out of my right nostril and lands right in my dinner bowl.

I dunno, man. Sometimes you just can't win for losing.
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