Rob Abrazado (flatvurm) wrote,
Rob Abrazado
flatvurm

Madness

So I woke up in the middle of the night last night to what might have been a dream that an ant was trying to crawl into my ear. I say "might" because there is conflicting evidence on the matter. On the one hand, given the intermittent ant problem we have in the house here, it's not at all outside the realm of possibility that an ant actually was trying to crawl into my ear. On the other hand, even if that was the case, I'm pretty sure I dreamed the part where it was jabbering about it in its own crazy little ant language that basically sounded like some kind of pixie-voiced gibberish played on fast forward on a cassette tape.

You know...it just occurred to me that this next generation of youngsters is probably growing up not even knowing what a cassette tape is, let alone what one sounds like when played in fast forward.

Anyway. So I woke up freaked out and flailing, but I'm pretty sure there was no bug in my ear, so...yay. As I lay back down and tried to get back to sleep, I rolled over and turned my as-yet-unviolated ear to the sky, and I might have been attacked in that ear by a mosquito. Again, I'm not really sure. There's really no reason why I wouldn't have, except that I was in heightened insect alertness mode, so I might have just imagined the whole thing. Plus it's been all summer so far and I haven't seen mosquito one, so...I don't know just what the chances are of mosquito attack around here.

In any case, I woke up this morning with my left eyelid all swollen and weird. My eye wasn't, like, swollen shut or anything, but it did look like a weird lazy eyelid, and I was blinking at like half speed. Plus it felt like it was gummed to my eyeball, so...who knows what was going on there. This would seem to support the theory that my head may have been an insect snack bar during the night, except there's no redness or irritation or anything that I've come to expect to accompany my insect bites. And currently the swelling seems to have abated, but now I feel like there's an excess of tears on that side. So...coulda just been a passing weirdness. Could be the result of phantom insect attacks. Maybe there's a pixie-gibberish-speaking ant burrowed into my brain at this very moment causing eyelid problems and controlling my blog posts. There just ain't no tellin' what goes on, sometimes.
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