Anyway, I'm sorry I've been away so long, everybody. I'll let Grizz explain in his own words just why that's the case:
new place, new beginning. completely unpacked and with the entire home in order a few days after moving in, you were overcome by a sense of accomplishment and completeness. you had just washed a couple loads of laundry too and actually had a few job interviews lined up for next week. situation being so, you decide that you should probably also take this opportunity to do a little personal hygiene checkup just so that you could really impress the interviewers and really get life back into high gear! so you make a beeline down to the local pharmacy and pick up some essential toiletries... shaving cream, mouthwash, soap... even a new razor. on the way back you pass by a barber shop and say to yourself, "why the heck not"? 30 mins later, you are a new you with a nice clean cut that even your mother would be proud of. you get home and put the shaving cream and razor to use right away. done and done. man you look, and smell, like a million bucks. but something is not quite finished... something still nags at you... you look down into your boxers and are a little taken back by the thick bush of hair that has accumulated over the course of several months. "that has got to go" you say to yourself and before you know it you are lathering yourself down there. what happens next? well, I don't even have to say it, but the brand-new razor is a little too sharp for your sensitive genital skin and you end up bloodying your entire bathroom floor... in a panic, you rush over to your neighbor's door, where a hot Asian chick lives. She's got a hot, thorny-looking type tattoo on her back, right above her butt, and you've overheard her having hot, heavy sex in her apartment on more than occasion with her boyfriend. anyways, you knock on her door and she brings you inside her place where you pass out, cold. you awaken to see that you are pants-less on her couch and your little accident has been covered up with a makeshift gauze made up of pantyliners and band-aids. you thank her for her help, she asks if you'll be okay, and you say you'll live. overwhelmed by the events that took place and the embarrassment you've caused yourself, you completely forget about the job interviews and instead spend days eating cereal while thinking about what a moron your neighbor must think you are. you also think about how hot your neighbor is, and for a second you think about maybe wacking off to her, but then you also remember that your little buddy is in no condition to do so. so that's how you spend the next couple of days and *that* is how you've allowed your LiveJournal to grow miserably stale.
Well, uh...thanks for that, grizzlypuff. Hurts just thinking about it. And thanks again to everyone else who played. You're all winners to me!